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Friday, April 22, 2011

So, You want to marry a Canadian.. and then have them move to America, only to realize the error in you judgement and then decide to up to Canada, thus making things complicated?

Or... Blog post 100!

Good morning? I have the wiggles. This is the best time to try and knock out this fine piece of literature.

Here is the back story. I met my husband a long time ago in a galaxy far far away. Aka, 2004 on the interwebz. We met playing an online game that was on Popcap.com that was discontinued because people were using it to set up a rare black market for Dr. Who buttplugs or something odd like they were tired of seeing bored lonely people cyber all day. I don't know. We however, did not meet that way. We met because I was bored and liked to play this game and his friend started chatting me up and then couldn't shut up about me to him. We hit it off and soon it just morphed to pretty much all the time IMing and chatting on the phone.

Things happened and lives changed. We met in person.. and fell pretty much instantly in love with each other. I moved to DC for awhile, there is a break up, a move back to Seattle and then the make up. In that time he had moved to Vancouver. Once we were back together it was pretty much non-stop trips up to BC and down to Seattle for us until one day, he just couldn't take it anymore and he asked me to marry him. It was sweet.

So then, the decision needed to be made, BC or Seattle? Canada vs. USA 1960 Gold Medal Game in Men's Hockey.


USA won out because, there was a more of a support system (read my family) in Seattle for a newly married couple. We filled out a mega giga butt ton of forms spent way too much money and moved the Canadian down to the states. We were married in 2007. There was a lot of culture shock for the Canadian. "What do you mean... you have to pay for the doctor?" "WHAT?! Your Coke isn't made with sugar!?" " WHERE THE FUCK DO I GET A JAMAICAN PATTY?!"

After aboot a year and a bit of this nonsense.. The Canadian became homesick.. and the American.. just became sick of home. The negotiations commenced. "Let's move to Canada.. babies are free! (in comparison) You can drink Coke that doesn't make you ill after half a can! You get to wear tuques!

We hashed it all out and at the end of 2009 The Canadian moved back to BC.. and I moved into a parents house.

This is where it gets comical.. if we had been better organized.. we could have probably gotten my butt up here.. in 2010. My husband, moved up here December 29th 2009.. The issue is, that we, didn't get all of the paperwork done all at once. Here is a list of what you need to print out.. and what you need to get along with your paper work.

******* THIS IS NOT A SURE FIRE WAY OF GETTING INTO CANADA BY MARRYING ONE OF THEM, I AM NOT AN IMMIGRATION LAWYER, THIS IS JUST FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE***************************************

Go to, this website, it has the forms and statutes you need to get in to Canada, as a spouse.

This is who you can bring in under the "Spouse and Dependant Children" paperwork.

You will need to be able to have your Canadian prove that they can support your American ass, while you sit around your apartment desperately trying to find a job, in your field, that pays decently and doesn't require you to do extra training.. like pay 24000$ for a piece of paper saying you know how to answer a phone and file.

At this point, you will have an application kit. Read the instructions.. 3-4 times and have it handy while you are filling out your paperwork. In addition to filling out the paperwork, you will need to get Canadian Sized Passport Photos, that are very specific. I would get about 4 of them. For you and your spouse. You will need to get a medical exam by a doctor who is qualified to do this. There should be someone in your area who can. You will need.. a local police record proving that you are not a felon, AND AN FBI letter stating that you are not a felon or a terrorist. You will need to get 2 copies of your birth certificate and 2 copies of your wedding certificate. You will need to make copies of every page of your passport. Your Canadian will also need to copy every page of their passport, have their birth certificate copied. This document was probably the most important one to have.. and it is one that we didn't use.. and if we had.. we would have saved ourselves a few months of oh.. shit.. I forgot that!? I didn't sign this.. BS. USE THE CHECKLIST! SIGN EVERYTHING YOU CAN POSSIBLY SIGN! FILL EVERYTHING OUT THE FIRST TIME!

Once, you have everything you need in that package, SHIP IT OVERNIGHT TO THE IMMIGRATION CENTER IN BUFFALO! Wait.... Wait some more.. more waiting. At this point, if you had done everything correctly, all of your I's dotted and your T's crossed, it should take about 5-6 months for them to process it. During this time.. save all the money you can, hoard money like you have never hoarded before. Get all Scrooge McDuck. Because, once you move up to Canada, you are going to need this money to buy groceries and all the other stuff your Canadian didn't feel was important.. like say.. things to hang up more than one coat, an iron and ironing board.. you know the.. basics.

You should, then, in theory get a letter back saying," Hi! Canada wants you to be their newest American transplant.. Please send us.. MORE PASSPORT PICTURES OF A CERTAIN SIZE, THIS FORM THAT WE ARE GIVING YOU AND YOUR ORIGINAL PASSPORT. SHIP IT OVERNIGHT TO THE IMMIGRATION CENTER IN BUFFALO!

Now, you are going to freak out, because this letter says that you are going to get a Visa, and that Visa is going to have an expiry date that states that you have to be in the country by a certain time or else all of this would be for not and your life will end IMMEDIATELY! Do not freak out. DON'T PANIC. It is ok. Your expiry ( Yes they use expiry and not expiration) will be about a year from the date issued. You will have time to, save up more money, pack all of your shit, say goodbye to your loved ones, quit your job at a leisurely pace, arrange for things to be shipped.. You do not need to do what I did, which was.. freak out, start packing up or throwing away all of my stuff the second I got this letter, running around like a chicken with her head cut off, cry, and in general make myself super stressed out.

Here is a checklist of things I would do if I had the chance to do it again.
Set a date for when you want to move up to Canada.. I would give it about a month or so.

Go through all of your stuff and really evaluate if you want to move that to another country.

Start packing the stuff you want to keep. In bankers boxes and then label them neatly.

Make sure that your pet(s) can go over the border. I have a hedgehog and a bearded dragon!? Can they go over the border without a vet exam? Well, my pets were fine, however, I hear that getting cats and dogs over the border can be tricky.

Start planning your own going away party. You will think that your friends will do this.. and they may, but it was my experience, that you want to see people before you leave.. you need to do the planning. You are the one that is really busy and important.. and your poor friends are not going to know when you are available.

Give your notice of intent to leave your job as soon as you have figured out when you want to leave by with an effective date that is 2-3 weeks before the day you want to move. You are going to want to have this time to pack and say goodbye.

Go to your cell phone and other utilities provider and pre-arrange a shut off day. You will need to then, set up a way to pay your final bills while you are in Canada, and I do not suggest keeping your US bank account open to do this.

Cancel your NETFLIX account. You do not need be watching episodes of Buffy during this time you need to be packing. And no.. Netflix US does not transfer over to Netflix Canada. Don't even try.

Go to the Post Office and figure out what you need to do to get your US Mail forwarded to your Canadian Address..I didn't do this, I am going to have my mom send my mail to me monthly in a mailer and then I am going to have to contact each company and tell them I moved to Canada.

The last week or so that you are there.. You need to, pay off any balances that have on your credit cards and cancel them. Your credit in Canada.. doesn't exist.. Your credit in the US.. doesn't matter. You need to close out your US bank account. Why? because.. even though you tell your bank that you are moving to Canada.. they are still going to ding you a service fee for every atm you use and you are going to get screwed by the conversion rate. I also, have just had the pleasure of finding out, that even though I told my bank that I was moving, they still froze my card because, "someone in Canada has been using it". Yea, no shit, that person is me.

And finally, have your going away party(ies). I had several of them because some people couldn't make it to one and not the other. Your job will probably have one for you. You will probably have to go visit a couple of family members who live in state but not in city. Take this time to do this. It is important. I don't think that I would have made it for 19 days in Canada if I didn't say goodbye to the people I loved. I would have died of regret.

Finally pack up your Uhaul and head for the border. I drove up with my one of my girlfriends and her husband and my Canadian.. YOU SHOULD BRING YOUR CANADIAN WITH YOU WHEN YOU ARE GOING OVER THE BORDER. Why? well, I bet your Canadian left some of their crap with you when they moved up first. They need to be with their crap. They also, speak Canadian and can say, oh yea eh, I am bring my wife up to live in the land of hockey and bad beer? Ain't she a beauty?.

At the border be polite. Be succinct. Also, do not go to the busiest crossing in your state. My example, I lived in Washington, you have two options, go to Peace Arch or go to Pacific Hwy Truck Crossing. It has been my experience, that if you go to Peace Arch, you are going to be dealing with the grumpy border guards. They are the ones that have to deal with assholes, trying to smuggle drugs into the country. They are going to search your shit. They are going to make you wait for a long time. The truck crossing on the other hand, has happy guards. They are the guards that usually just deal with long haul truckers who have a bunch of cargo. They will not care about your hedgehog. You will go into the building, they will look at your paper that you received back with your passport. They will verify all the information on it and if it is incorrect, they will chicken scratch the correct information on it. They will ask you how much cash you have on you. Then, send you on your merry way. You will be told that your Permanent Resident Card will be in the mail. You do not have to apply for one, it is part of the package. This is important.. because.. if you don't have it, you can't go home to visit your mom and dad.

Once in Canada.. go drink a Canadian Coke. Savor that Aerobar. Go to Tim Hortons. You deserve it.

The next business day, go to your closest Service Canada office and apply for your Social Insurance Number and ask for the closest Employment Resource Center. Call them immediately and sign up for help looking for a job and getting over the culture shock of having to wear a suit to your interviews. Hook up with a temp agency and start to do temp work. Most of the time, they have Temp to Hire positions. Apply for jobs, apply for jobs, apply for jobs. Go on interviews, razzle dazzle. Get a job. I am still working on that last bit but you get the drift.

And that is it pretty much. I am having a great time. I missed my husband really badly. I have insomnia.. I think it is because I have developed a Coke habit... hahahahaha.

Again, this is just my personal experience. The conditions of this were: I lived in the States, and he lived in Canada the entire time we were sorting it all out. We are without children. We lived in a border situation that was conducive to driving up to Canada. Your situation may vary.

Ok, I don't have the wiggles anymore.. I am going to crawl back into bed. Love to you all and stuff.

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