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Showing posts with label I-Penis Replacement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label I-Penis Replacement. Show all posts

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Anne's helpful guide to not reacting well to changes at work, thus regressing back to being 13.

Things are changing. A wise old drag queen once told me if you can't change anything in your life, change your hair. I am currently, sitting in my bath tub listening to punk music, while playing Robot Unicorn Attack, Facebooking while dying my hair. I had an old bitty cut it this morning for 20$ I look cute! ( this was written at like 10ish.)

Step One: Have life crisis. Wake up early. Talk to your husband over Skype.
Step Two: Hear the Weasels in your tummy growl, realize that you need to eat. Stop talking on Skype and get dressed like a soccer mom/college student. ( Yoga Pants, Tshirt, Hoody, Ugg Boots/ White jogging shoes).
Step Three: Go get coffee and a pastry.
Step Four: Go buy hair dye. ( I bought red hair dye. it also gave you the option to do your own highlights.) Have a crazy guy chit chat you up about what Denali means in Eskimo.
Step Five: Get a bee in your bonnet, decide that you want to get your haircut RIGHT THE FUCK NOW! Go to the closest hair place that has little old ladies in it.. and have your hair done by a little old lady!
She gave me a haircut for 20$.. why? Because I reminded her of her grandkid. Her name was Hildegard.
Step Six: Go Home, go into your bathroom, put dye on your hair, listen to punk rock music while you play Robot Unicorn Attack, while hanging out in your bath tub while you talk to your sister on the phone.


You can also text your husband and clean cat boxes too. This step takes a while, because the stuff I was doing you had to sit for 25 mins, then rinse, then add highlighting stuff to your head, then wait more then rinse.
Step Seven: Put on make up, do your hair, go have lunch with friends, go to work. Take picture of your cute hair.
So, yea.. I got bangs again. I have red hair with highlights.. I am looking kinda classy. People who have noticed and said something.. My Supervisor.. and a Room Service Guy. My friends of course have noticed, but people I work with.. yea.. Not so much with the Hey! You did something to your appearance. Nice!

HEY! Retard, yuppy parents, DON'T LET YOUR KIDS PLAY ON YOUR IPAD OR IPHONE YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!

Peter- "These are they droids, I'm lookin' for! YEAH! GIGGITY!"

This next  years color is pussy lip pink! Honeysuckle.

No matter how adorable they are on the interweb.. um.. Cats are evil. This and This are proof!

When I was in high-school, my mom and I lost 10 lbs but eating soup and popcorn and watching FoodTV. 

Juggalos.. read.. books? uh..

I never had to do deal with this in high school, every one there was a hippy, or raised by hippies.

:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P

Friday, November 26, 2010

Gearing up for the smows blog post with linkages!

Tomorrow.. maybe tonight I will loading up an epic," What I did on my Thanksgiving Vacation" style post about what happens when Seattle gets Satan's butt dander all over us. Until then, here are some links!

This is something that I might try to install when I have a house of my own. It will be only on doors into rooms that are common like offices, living rooms, what have you. Maybe my toddlers room, with the option of removing it when they are older because I would be a cool parent.

Good Job, French Farmer! Way to feed your ducks pot!

Can you name all 77?

So.. uh.. really? You are afraid that girls are going to arrange their own clandestine marriages? So, now they can't use cell phones?!

COOLEST BIKE LOCK EVERS!! I know you don't know German.. but just watch it.

*sigh* How many people who are gay will stop using iPhones because of this? None.. oh well!

Have you ever wanted to know how to disarm a nuclear bomb? Well here you go!

People are just lazy, so it is easier to do what is lazy.

Who wants to move to the moon? oh wait, not the moon.. A moon around Saturn!

Cool wooden scooter thinger, is an important thinger in the Congo.

I hope these little guys weren't harmed by these really tiny pies!

BEST ANNIVERSARY PRESENT EVERS!

So.. I would be Atari, Nintendo 64, Nintendo 64, Earthworm Jim!