Obsessive Compulsive Miser-y. Kindergarteners know when you are not related to someone. Linkies!

I am thinking that there needs to be a way to just have someone pee on a stick and you can say yup, you need help. It is rough not being able to live with the person you chose to marry. My husband and I are trying though. He thinks too much about his money. Last night we decided that he is living in Miser-y. It is the misery of being a miser. Hopefully that will get fixed. :D It doesn't help that his new apartment was not taken care of by previous tenants/owners so he has to spend money on fixing and cleaning what they did not. I am thinking about selling a kidney to help.. does anyone want a slightly used kidney?


He has been having an issue with a rat at his job. The rat is a tricky bastard.  My husband writes this.
"So I must speak of this rat in the store. He has been destroying our bird seed supply. We lock it down, he finds a way in. We set out baited glue traps for him. Not only has he avoided these and taken the bait, he has laughed at them and somehow knocked them away sticking them to something else. On one occasion, he managed to throw them up to the ceiling, sticking it there.


We have since, set out 2 traps for the smart bugger. We found one glue trap today, on the floor, from once on the shelf...upside down. We think this time, FINALLY, we may have gotten him. I lift it up, and there is SOMEHOW a frickin briquette stuck to it, and all of his fur.

This means, he finally got stuck to one, but somehow deathrolled off the shelf for a bumpy 4 foot drop, and ripped himself loose balding himself. I have no idea where the charcoal came from.


This rat, is by far the most agile and clever of its species I have ever seen. The first one in the store just over ate himself or something, it died. But this one, he is seriously making us look foolish and just slapping us in the face and laughing. He's amazing! Chewing up plants, seeds, etc. and tossing aside all traps.


So it has come down to breaking out the big guns. My boss is ready to let me break out the zap trap or a professional live trap. I mean, I graduated in ecology, where I trapped weasels! This is my thing. Give me the right tools here!  So authority granted. Monday, we try new tactics."


I said, "You need to set out some seriously nummy poison."


 He replies,"Oh I didn't mention that? We have poison blocks all over, and placing bait (suet which he LOVES because he is destroying our stock) right on it! He is taking the food, leaving the poison! Shoot, I think he may have gone through a block of poison still, but he is still going! 


To reiterate, he takes the bait, and throws the poison and trap elsewhere.


Freakin impressive. I am tempted to kill him and stuff him! Though I do feel bad killing such an intelligent tricksy critter...but he will not make a fool of me! Or keep him as a pet under lock-down with lots of intricate high-security mazes."  As of today, the fate of this magical rat.. is UNKNOWN!

So that is what is going on with him. Hopefully my birthday trip up there to see him will warrant less Miser-y and maybe even a better mood for all. 


One of my moms is a Kindergarten teacher. I am a mooch, so I am indentured to go volunteer in her class so that I can do things like not pay rent. Her kids are in love with me. For cereals, however, they are pretty sure that they there is something not quite right with the statement of, " This is Miss Anne, she is my daughter. " Why is this an odd statement? Well, I have more than 1 mom. Actually, I have 4 women that I have consistently called mom since I was in grade school. I have a biological/Alpha mom ( Helen), her two best friends, Beta Mom ( Kelly, she is the mother of my god kids) and Omega Mom ( Sarah, I moved in with her during high school because I didn't want to move to another city because I liked my school.) And The Other Mother, ( Pug, she is the mom of my bestest friends from childhood, Caiti and Sarah). 


So, yes, Omega Mom, is a Kindergarten Teacher, she is in her early 40's, I am 25. She would have been 15 if she had had me. The kids can tell, that there is something odd about our age gap. However, they can't express it so every time / every year I volunteer, the little ones are CONVINCED THAT WE ARE LIEING LIARS WHO LIE!!!! When I call her by her Teacher Name,(Mrs. So-And-So) They freak out! " Why are you calling that name, she is your mommy, call her mommy!"  I get asked questions like, why don't you look like her? How old are you? Are you 8? Do you like going to Kindergarten? Can you tell me the answer to the daily work? Will you marry me when I am 8? 


Good times! Kids are so funny. I was having a bad day yesterday, they petted my head as if I was a cat whenever they would pass me, they could tell.  There is a very good chance that in January, I will be bring Pincushion in to visit because they are going to be reading The Mitten. 


Linkies!


So, remember the retarded couple who put up a poll on their site asking if they should get an abortion? Do you remember how they were saying that every vote for them to have an abortion was falsely put up there by members of 4Chan and that they weren't going to accept it? Well.. MORE PEOPLE WANTED THEM NOT TO HAVE A BABY THAN DID! Are they going to have an abortion? No. Why? Because it was a anti- choice publicity stunt. FUCK YOU!


I would like you to make and give me these lard cookies. I am really serious, this is not a joke,  I want them now. 


The MPAA is full of shitty shit.  You should watch as many NR/NC17 movies as possible.


Coolest Olders Not Dinoaur Ever! They found a full skelly! W00t!

Watch this guys Zelda Nerd Out!

Watch Molly from Rocketboom, ( My husbands other wife!) She is drunk on Four Loko! She can also eat these caffeinated beef jerky snacks!







Pogo, has a new video up! Wisperlude!

Wil Wheaton  Confucius says, Don't be a dick, China!

This is how I plan on seducing men from now on!

When I was younger, there would be times when my little brother ( who is high functioning autistic) and I would get up earlier than we were supposed to, because we thought that we could watch more cartoons that way. We found out PDQ that at 4:30 in the morning they don't play cartoons, they play the 700 club. So, we would watch it and pretend that Jesus would heal our afflictions. I would go up to him and play my hand upon his head and say! PRAISE JESUS! MAY HE HEEL Y'ALL FROM THY EVER LOVING SIN! He would then drop to the ground and shake and pretend to be "heeled". This kid.. is doing it far better than us!

My Birthday is in 4 days, buy these for me!

In Final News:
The bestest manager I have ever had the pleasure of knowing, is no longer going to be my manager and therefore my job will fucking suck. I will be buying him lunch tomorrow.. and crying into my beer. 

No, Anne.. you and your mom are not Han Solo and Chewie.

My husband finally broke down and got a big kid apartment. My mom and I were supposed to go up and help him move his stuff into it. However, he also asked me to bring up stuff we had in storage. We didn't have the paperwork, she and I tried to pass it off as stuff that was just in van. Border Patrol, WAS NOT IMPRESSED! We got told to never do it again. :(  Oh well, now we know.

lets look at some newsienews. Did you news means North East West South? Did you ??

I hate assholes who think it is perfectly ok to just put up offensive shit and then act as if he is perfectly unaware that it is offensive.

In New York, they think that it is important to tell us that bartenders have physically taxing jobs. I know this, I went to bartending school... however.. really, do you have to write a big ol' article about how they are shaking martinis too hard and thus get tennis elbow. 

NOOOOO!!!! DON'T GET RID OF THIS!!!! Whipahol is a creation sent from the gods to make our deliciousness more amazings and delicious! DO NOT TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!! NOOOOOO!!!! ( Stupid, college students and their binge drinking ruining all the things that I love. First you make it so I can't make my favorite cocktail of my misspent youth and now you don't want me to put alcoholic whipped cream on my blow jobs!)

The people over at the dark place of the internet where you go to masturbate, like to spy on you to see where else you go to pull your pud.  Dear People who spy on me while I watch porn. Would you believe me if I told you that I only go to on PornHub for anthropological reasons? No? Hmm... However, 4Chan.. do you believe me now? Maybe?

Interesting social experiment.. would you tell off a dad if he was gay bashing his son in public?
I have actually told off several people who do this. I even get super bitchy when people I love, say that something is gay. I ask them what is gay about it? how did they know? Then they usually say that they are sorry.

This kind of reminds me of the best idea for an episode of Murder She Wrote.  It involves Angela Landsbury killing everyone in the town.

SLEEP OVER AT HUGO CHAVEZ'S HOUSE!!

Atta boy! Way to stick it to the cheating whore!

However, I am sure that she couldn't help it, it is in her genetic makeup. 

This is a super interesting article about how size relates to how you feel about what is going to kill you in video games. Quick, get the mushroom!

Ok, off to watch more Angel. :D

Gearing up for the smows blog post with linkages!

Tomorrow.. maybe tonight I will loading up an epic," What I did on my Thanksgiving Vacation" style post about what happens when Seattle gets Satan's butt dander all over us. Until then, here are some links!

This is something that I might try to install when I have a house of my own. It will be only on doors into rooms that are common like offices, living rooms, what have you. Maybe my toddlers room, with the option of removing it when they are older because I would be a cool parent.

Good Job, French Farmer! Way to feed your ducks pot!

Can you name all 77?

So.. uh.. really? You are afraid that girls are going to arrange their own clandestine marriages? So, now they can't use cell phones?!

COOLEST BIKE LOCK EVERS!! I know you don't know German.. but just watch it.

*sigh* How many people who are gay will stop using iPhones because of this? None.. oh well!

Have you ever wanted to know how to disarm a nuclear bomb? Well here you go!

People are just lazy, so it is easier to do what is lazy.

Who wants to move to the moon? oh wait, not the moon.. A moon around Saturn!

Cool wooden scooter thinger, is an important thinger in the Congo.

I hope these little guys weren't harmed by these really tiny pies!

BEST ANNIVERSARY PRESENT EVERS!

So.. I would be Atari, Nintendo 64, Nintendo 64, Earthworm Jim!

And now back to not being lazy and in relatively good health!

It is time for catching up on the internets. I have been occupied with life as of recent and so now.. I need to compensate but sitting on my fat ass for a couple of hours while I regurgitate things for you.

First item. Happy Veterans/Remembrance Day.

Here are some items I found earlier this week that I was going to post but instead wrote a long rant about people being raped. :(

I am tired of people who are not enlightened in the slightest, insisting that any bullying is ok, if it is to gay kids. They are douchebags for insisting that the recent campaigns against bullying are an evil plot to push the gay agenda. DIAF!

This kids parents should get a medal. I am all about teaching your child to fight for their free speech. I also get super annoyed when school have retarded dress codes.

I read this, cried and then pretty much made up my mind to buy a print next pay day.

I think most definitely think that parents who do not provide money for their kids to eat.. should have to pay for it by social shaming. However, it shouldn't be the tax payers burden.. I think that there should be a tattoo put on their heads that says, "I am a fucking douche canoe, that doesn't care enough about my children to provide them with food. Please mock and stone me."

Dear Texas... DIAF! Seriously please secede from the union.

I really want one of these. 

This is pretty amazing, great article on how and why jellyfish only sting what they want to sting.

BRILLIANT IDEA! However, I don't think however I can get away with doing this when I have larva.

What?! Lesbian families have a 0% child abuse rate!  " Duh, No shit!" Says, my husband.

This guy should be waterboarded until he dies, then revived, then waterboarded again till he dies again, then revived... and then asked if President Bush should get a medal.

MMMMMMMMMMM Nintendo Characters.. it's whats for dinner. Read this persons entire blog... NOW!

I also want you to buy me this! Or.. make it for me really.

A man lost 27 lbs. on the convenience store diet.. however he really doesn't recommend it.

Bob Marley is an all mellowing force to screaming asshole toddlers.

Whoopsies!

Don't forget kids, November 17th is National Unfriend People On Facebook Day!