Anne's helpful guide to not reacting well to changes at work, thus regressing back to being 13.

Things are changing. A wise old drag queen once told me if you can't change anything in your life, change your hair. I am currently, sitting in my bath tub listening to punk music, while playing Robot Unicorn Attack, Facebooking while dying my hair. I had an old bitty cut it this morning for 20$ I look cute! ( this was written at like 10ish.)

Step One: Have life crisis. Wake up early. Talk to your husband over Skype.
Step Two: Hear the Weasels in your tummy growl, realize that you need to eat. Stop talking on Skype and get dressed like a soccer mom/college student. ( Yoga Pants, Tshirt, Hoody, Ugg Boots/ White jogging shoes).
Step Three: Go get coffee and a pastry.
Step Four: Go buy hair dye. ( I bought red hair dye. it also gave you the option to do your own highlights.) Have a crazy guy chit chat you up about what Denali means in Eskimo.
Step Five: Get a bee in your bonnet, decide that you want to get your haircut RIGHT THE FUCK NOW! Go to the closest hair place that has little old ladies in it.. and have your hair done by a little old lady!
She gave me a haircut for 20$.. why? Because I reminded her of her grandkid. Her name was Hildegard.
Step Six: Go Home, go into your bathroom, put dye on your hair, listen to punk rock music while you play Robot Unicorn Attack, while hanging out in your bath tub while you talk to your sister on the phone.

You can also text your husband and clean cat boxes too. This step takes a while, because the stuff I was doing you had to sit for 25 mins, then rinse, then add highlighting stuff to your head, then wait more then rinse.

Step Seven: Put on make up, do your hair, go have lunch with friends, go to work. Take picture of your cute hair.

So, yea.. I got bangs again. I have red hair with highlights.. I am looking kinda classy. People who have noticed and said something.. My Supervisor.. and a Room Service Guy. My friends of course have noticed, but people I work with.. yea.. Not so much with the Hey! You did something to your appearance. Nice!

HEY! Retard, yuppy parents, DON'T LET YOUR KIDS PLAY ON YOUR IPAD OR IPHONE YOU FUCKING IDIOTS!

Peter- "These are they droids, I'm lookin' for! YEAH! GIGGITY!"

This next  years color is pussy lip pink! Honeysuckle.

No matter how adorable they are on the interweb.. um.. Cats are evil. This and This are proof!

When I was in high-school, my mom and I lost 10 lbs but eating soup and popcorn and watching FoodTV. 

Juggalos.. read.. books? uh..

I never had to do deal with this in high school, every one there was a hippy, or raised by hippies.

:P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P :P

Hipsterbonics and Hugging Babies

I have been not around the interwebs for a while because my "sister" had a baby. I say "sister" because being someone who was raised by wolves, I consider someone who's house I had a majority of meals and hours sleeping at to be family.

Their parents are my parents and they are my siblings. I also adopt their siblings as my own and their eventual children to be my nieces and nephews. So, yea, I went down to Olympia and hung out with my "siblings" and held my new baby "niece" and played the fall down game with my "nephew". There was huge windstorm, we lost power. I was supposed to leave at 1PM yesterday, however I left my wallet at my sister's house so they wouldn't let me on the bus.. so then I chilled until the 6 PM bus. I love babies! I also love toddlers, but not in that creepy self publishing and selling on Amazon way.

I learned a whole new form a speaking over those two days.. and by learned I mean.. I came up with a name for how my younger "sister" talks. She is in her late teens/ early twenties. She lives in a Punk/Hippie/Anarchist/Hipster shared garage/loft/apartment/house/yurt thinger. She doesn't shower much, has tattoos that are artsy/random and two nose piercings. I love her dearly. She is one of my favorite people.. however.. She is CrayCrayKins. She "makes kisses" with guys, when walking down the street she randomly says," Is that Mine?!" in regards to whether or not a person is someone she knows. People are randomly jerks... and she refers to herself in the third person with her first and last name. I find myself after talking to her for a couple of hours.. talking like her. Which, is at the time totally amusing but afterwords when I am back with people who are not used to this particular dialect, I get looked at funny.

This also, however, has made me aware that I also talk in a strange Buffyesque manner. I also, say what I consider catchphrases.. that could possibly considered the hipsterbonics of my generation. I believe that a lot of my speech is comprised of interwebs mems, bastardized urban speak and a belief that everyone I have ever known watches anime/plays video games/is a trekkie/uses the force. An of examples of a conversation I  had recently.

Husband: ok

  I have no idea where I will be today

 me: That is why Dinosaur Jesus invented cell phones and text plans!

I love that I have friends that get the joke of when they are " paging Dr. House" to help figure out why they are sick

they think I am brilliant that I suggest Sarcoidosis or Lupus

See! I refer to Dinosaur Jesus.. who refers to Dinosaur Jesus!? I do apparently. Look! I refer to being brilliant for making a simple pop culture reference.. that is not brilliance..that is just being someone who watches too much TV. Have you ever noticed that I am ellipses crazy( CrayCrayKins), because I am. My grandfather is an English teacher, so when I speak to him on the phone, I get a running count of how many times I have said the word "like" inappropriately. Oh wells!

Who wants some links? I want to show you some links.

A clash of the scary..KKK rallies. Clowns use Mocking KKK. KKK acts like little bitches, gets arrested. Clowns Win! Mocking KKK is Super Effective!

Gross! Funny.. Possibly Illegal.. Funny! Gross o.O

Being someone who is allergic to grass, this is like being water-boarded.

I have a hard time thinking that this will have any validity.. this was an episode from 2008. IT IS ALMOST 2011!!! I became a fan of Samwell because of South Park. Parody is protected under the 1st amendment.

WOOT! Sexiest Man Alive! I am glad that it is him and not Justin Beiber.

Buy Me This!