What I Did On My Thanksgiving Vacation!

I didn't have a Thanksgiving vacation.. this would be because I am not in school. However, Seattle did have a magical time!

So, lets see Monday the 22nd. I was at home and this happened!

That was at 11 AM.

I then, settled down to watch " The Audition" it is good watchin' on a day like this!

This was at 1:30 PM

I then told my Step Dad type human that he should probably come home because it was coming down pretty fierce and we needed to get supplies.

Smows and S'moes mmmmmmmmmm

I was settling down to some delightful soup and tea and s'moes and outside looked like this.

At around 9:30 I got a call from The Matt!" Hi, We need you to work tomorrow morning!" " Well, Shit :(  " I was promised a room, I was then on my way to catch the 10PM bus to see if I could get to work before everything was totally smowed up. My mom spent 4:30 hrs. in the car trying to get home. 

Here is what it looked like in my neighborhood at 10 PM

oooo smowsingsly

Do you want to watch a video of me on the bus? It is really cool!

I need to be better at filming.. oh well. Still, you get the idea!

I get to work and check in.. and look at what Downtown looked like!

So then I worked. It was crazy pants, everyone loses their shit. It is retarded. I wrote a bitchy blog post.

Here is my triumphant return back to my house! 

I am super proud of myself. I didn't slip, fall, eat shit and die, break anything or get cold! WOOT!

So then, the next day... I got ready and trudged back out in the cold to see Jenny. I had to work on Thanksgiving and she felt unloved. We had a slumber party.

The #75 bus is not going to stop here, go catch it the Bartell's 

Jenny is super "excited" about the weather

We watched ValleyGirl.. The girl in it talks with her teeth out like a horse, this is Jenny's horse face.

Jenny Painted My Toes! 

The next morning Jenny went to yoga and I got a latte and hung out with her cat. Then I made breakfast for Jenny and Matt Kane. Then I went to work and....

WATCHED A CHARLIE BROWN THANKSGIVING!!!

I passed it around to pretty much every department that would take it. I then went home and slept really late and then didn't really leave my bed for most of the day. THE END!

Gearing up for the smows blog post with linkages!

Tomorrow.. maybe tonight I will loading up an epic," What I did on my Thanksgiving Vacation" style post about what happens when Seattle gets Satan's butt dander all over us. Until then, here are some links!

This is something that I might try to install when I have a house of my own. It will be only on doors into rooms that are common like offices, living rooms, what have you. Maybe my toddlers room, with the option of removing it when they are older because I would be a cool parent.

Good Job, French Farmer! Way to feed your ducks pot!

Can you name all 77?

So.. uh.. really? You are afraid that girls are going to arrange their own clandestine marriages? So, now they can't use cell phones?!

COOLEST BIKE LOCK EVERS!! I know you don't know German.. but just watch it.

*sigh* How many people who are gay will stop using iPhones because of this? None.. oh well!

Have you ever wanted to know how to disarm a nuclear bomb? Well here you go!

People are just lazy, so it is easier to do what is lazy.

Who wants to move to the moon? oh wait, not the moon.. A moon around Saturn!

Cool wooden scooter thinger, is an important thinger in the Congo.

I hope these little guys weren't harmed by these really tiny pies!

BEST ANNIVERSARY PRESENT EVERS!

So.. I would be Atari, Nintendo 64, Nintendo 64, Earthworm Jim!

I am thankful for you ( person I work with on Thanksgiving)

I have to work on Thanksgiving. This upsets people that I love. I don't get to hang out with my parents. None of them.. none of the 4 sets of parents do I get to hang out with. I do not get to hang out with my friends. None of them, I was invited to like 4 things tonight. I don't get to go to any of them. LAMES!

Oh well here are somethings that I am thankful for.
First off, the trailer for THANKSGIVING by Eli Roth. I like the comments on this.. my favorite, " WOOHOO TITTIES ON YOUTUBE!"



I am thankful for this picture of a murdering baby!

I am thankful for TURKEYZILLA!


I am thankful for TurDuckIns. I will making one of these some day.


I am thankful that Kobayashi will eat an entire turkey.


I am thankful for William S. Boroughs


I am thankful for RocketBoom and all of their zany antics, including this nifty thing where it is a "Living Photo" then you click on the person in the photo and you watch them make a side for Thanksgiving!


I am thankful for, interesting things to do with your stuffing.. besides shoving it up your best friends rectum. :D

I am thankful for this clip from one of my favorite movies.


I am thankful for this post from DeadSpin, most because of the title of the post.. and the FIRES!


I am thankful for this handy chart on how to eat people.. :D

I am thankful for Little Eva


I am thankful for pretentious ways to cook a piece of turkey.

I am thankful for the Dead Milk Men


I am thankful for Thanksgiving Drinking Games!

Turkey for me and Turkey for you! I like to eat Turkey in my big brown shoes!


I am thankful for you!

Whining about people, who whine about people, who whine about how Seattle deals with snow.

I have lived in Seattle most of my life. I am pretty sure that when I tell people.. no really Seattle doesn't really get much snow in the winter... that I am right. I know that for the last 5 years.. there has been several occurrences of "SMOWS". However, in general, since Seattle has been a place where people document weather.. we usually don't get snow in the winter.

With that being said, when people who have moved here from places that get snow during the winter, see the snow in Seattle.. they say, " No big deal, I had to deal with FFFFAAAAAAARRRRRRRR WOOOOORRRRRSSSSSEEEEEEE than this in ( Name the place that has snow in the winter). Why is this a big deal? You should salt and plow.

Then, people who have lived in Seattle for a long time go.. well, we do. However, we do not have the ability to salt and plow 24 hrs a day.. and when we do salt.. it just melts the snow then the snow refreezes into sheets of ice.

The person from places who sees snow every winter, then say, well, you are all asshole retarded fuckwits. ( Not Helpful Kids)

I am not very sure that people understand that the reason why we are not prepared for snow is that.. WE DON'T USUALLY GET SNOW IN THE WINTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

The reason why places like Chicago, Washington D.C., Montreal, New York, Utah, Canada, Colorado, Iceland, Antarctica, The Andes, Nepal.. Do not have an issue with this is a) THEY GET SNOW IN THE WINTER! b) Because you get snow in the winter, your state has put forth years and years of money into the infrastructure one needs to constantly have salters, deicers, plowers, sanders, whatthefuckeversers. c) You learned how to drive in snow.. with actual practice, we however did not because we don't get snow during the winter.

So unless you all have several millions of dollars sitting in your bank account and the ability to make snow coping machines out of your rectum. SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Enjoy, that you get to stay home and drink hot cocoa. 

I want people who are not from Seattle.. to read  EVERY PART OF THE ARTICLES ON THIS SITE ABOUT SNOW IN SEATTLE!

Ok, I am done being grumpy. <3 Anne

My manager is dreamy! Unfortunately.... we both don't swing that way.

The one manager at my job that I can stand, is pretty amazing. I am pretty sure that he could actually be considered a friend. Which is crazy since most managers aren't very friendly, but he is. It also helps that he is the same age as my old brother, likes all of the nerdy things I like and is catty. I wrote about him once before, he got vajazzaloped. I walk into work the other day.. and he was like, "pssst, come here, I have a present for you." Then some other employee walked in the room and there was a moment of " we must not let this person know our secret" which then faded into " oh, fuck it, I drew you a doodle."

LOOK AT HOW EPIC THIS DOODLE IS!

So yea, pretty amazingly epic. And a true story. 

I spent most of the day yesterday thinking about, dreading, kind of being excited about SMOWS! ( that is what I am calling snow this year.) Seattle is currently under like 2 in. which is like a big fucking deal. My mom's cats are being neurotic and my hedgie is being grumpy and huffly. 

This article upsets me. I have been told by people who have had children that I am being a big juvenile baby about it, I don't care. Breast Milk Cocktails are creepy. I am not letting my hubs anywhere near my sweater cows while I am breast feeding. I do not care.

In Canada they are trying to shame men into not being rapists. I am not sure how that works.. I mean.. yes, you could probably stop guys from taking advantage of drunk girls. However, hardcore rapists.. they are going to rape. * side bar* CHARLOTTE KING REPORTED THE RAPE AND IDENTIFIED THE RAPIST!! YAY!!!

Pinball Wizard!

I am not too sure about this. It is either amazingly campy and great, or just German and slightly homophobic.

In Scotland.. journalism is harsh. They straight call a spade a spade.. or well a child molester a monster.

YOU ARE A DOCTOR! YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO EAT AN ARTICHOKE!

ARACHNID!


Don't worry about cancer.. these underpants will save you from getting when you go through the pornoscanner.

I need to have one of these. JENGA CHEAT GUN!

The Importance of Being Mediocre

For most people who know me intimately and if not intimately then at least well enough to know me well enough, I have spent my life trying to achieve mediocrity. I did the bare minimum in life to get by, so that I could do what I liked. When I had my yearly review at my job and I was given a 3/5 on everything, it was like they were giving me 5/5 with gold stars! Why would anyone want to me mediocre?? Well, I don't like pressure and I feel that if I under promise and then luck into over delivering people think that I am neat. I am also lazy, but mostly, I know that I will never be perfect, so why try? It just makes you a cranky asshole when you fall on your face.

When you decide to walk up an unmoving escalator.. make sure that it is ok to do so. Because you know.. it might be like DANGEROUS!

ALL TURKEYS MUST DIES!!!

hehehehehe Spudnik hehehehehehehehe!

The pope loooooooovvvvvveeeessss condoms!

Glenn Beck is gay? Why 4chan wants you to not have a kid, baby dinosaurs and what I want to be when I am an old lady!

Morning Hepcats and Kittens!

I think that Glenn Beck doesn't understand that when you have two men on the cover of a book with a kid.. the way not to look like moparents is to not have one picking up the kid and having a face snuggle while the other one is looking on proudly. 

For someone who is trying really hard to break that closeted homosexual vibe.. Glenn Beck is a failin'.

These people should have an abortion.. because they don't deserve to have children if they are going to put an online poll up asking if they should have an abortion. Also, you are idiots for not knowing the interwebs will 4chan your ass if you post something like that. REALLY!??!?!?!! /b/tards will do anything having to do with dead babies.

Worst Bridesmaids Ever! Best No Longer Bride Ever!  :(

It makes me want to have two pets.. and name them Bouba and Kiki!

ZOMG!!!! FACEBOOK IS RUINING MARRIAGES!!!!!!! Which is funny.. since one of the only reason why my marriage is working out rather well is that I have a long standing Sunday morning date with my husband to play Scrabble on Facebook while we are on Skype.

So.. super sad Nobel Prize News. They are unable to fully award the candidate for the peace prize because China is dildos!

BABY!  DINOSAURS!

When I am a Gran.. I will be a SUPER GRAN!

uh.....

So, I was browsing stuff.. and I just wanted you to look at this!

Hipsterbonics and Hugging Babies

I have been not around the interwebs for a while because my "sister" had a baby. I say "sister" because being someone who was raised by wolves, I consider someone who's house I had a majority of meals and hours sleeping at to be family.

Their parents are my parents and they are my siblings. I also adopt their siblings as my own and their eventual children to be my nieces and nephews. So, yea, I went down to Olympia and hung out with my "siblings" and held my new baby "niece" and played the fall down game with my "nephew". There was huge windstorm, we lost power. I was supposed to leave at 1PM yesterday, however I left my wallet at my sister's house so they wouldn't let me on the bus.. so then I chilled until the 6 PM bus. I love babies! I also love toddlers, but not in that creepy self publishing and selling on Amazon way.

I learned a whole new form a speaking over those two days.. and by learned I mean.. I came up with a name for how my younger "sister" talks. She is in her late teens/ early twenties. She lives in a Punk/Hippie/Anarchist/Hipster shared garage/loft/apartment/house/yurt thinger. She doesn't shower much, has tattoos that are artsy/random and two nose piercings. I love her dearly. She is one of my favorite people.. however.. She is CrayCrayKins. She "makes kisses" with guys, when walking down the street she randomly says," Is that Mine?!" in regards to whether or not a person is someone she knows. People are randomly jerks... and she refers to herself in the third person with her first and last name. I find myself after talking to her for a couple of hours.. talking like her. Which, is at the time totally amusing but afterwords when I am back with people who are not used to this particular dialect, I get looked at funny.

This also, however, has made me aware that I also talk in a strange Buffyesque manner. I also, say what I consider catchphrases.. that could possibly considered the hipsterbonics of my generation. I believe that a lot of my speech is comprised of interwebs mems, bastardized urban speak and a belief that everyone I have ever known watches anime/plays video games/is a trekkie/uses the force. An of examples of a conversation I  had recently.

Husband: ok

  I have no idea where I will be today

 me: That is why Dinosaur Jesus invented cell phones and text plans!

I love that I have friends that get the joke of when they are " paging Dr. House" to help figure out why they are sick

they think I am brilliant that I suggest Sarcoidosis or Lupus

See! I refer to Dinosaur Jesus.. who refers to Dinosaur Jesus!? I do apparently. Look! I refer to being brilliant for making a simple pop culture reference.. that is not brilliance..that is just being someone who watches too much TV. Have you ever noticed that I am ellipses crazy( CrayCrayKins), because I am. My grandfather is an English teacher, so when I speak to him on the phone, I get a running count of how many times I have said the word "like" inappropriately. Oh wells!

Who wants some links? I want to show you some links.

A clash of the scary..KKK rallies. Clowns use Mocking KKK. KKK acts like little bitches, gets arrested. Clowns Win! Mocking KKK is Super Effective!

Gross! Funny.. Possibly Illegal.. Funny! Gross o.O

Being someone who is allergic to grass, this is like being water-boarded.

I have a hard time thinking that this will have any validity.. this was an episode from 2008. IT IS ALMOST 2011!!! I became a fan of Samwell because of South Park. Parody is protected under the 1st amendment.

WOOT! Sexiest Man Alive! I am glad that it is him and not Justin Beiber.

Buy Me This!

Cat in box, boxy fox, fox with cox.. Oh, fuck it I can't rhyme anymore!

Good Mornin' Y'all.

I have a bunch of neato burrito stuff to shows you. 

This feline is blowin' up the internets with its unholy love of all things made of cardboard that has the ability to contain things. Maru!

In the grand tradition of Beautiful Behind
Womb Raider
Schindler's Fist
Shaving Ryan's Privates
Glad he ate her
Driving Into Miss Daisy
Riding Miss Daisy
Batman in Robin
Blowjob Impossible
Dyke Hard
Star Whores
Sorest Rump
Edward Penishands
Gangbangs of New York
On Golden Blonde
How Stella Got Her Tube Packed
In Diana Jones and the Temple Poon
Saturday Night Beaver
Sick Degrees of Penetration
Legally Boned
Throbin Hood (Prince of Beaves)
When Harry Ate Sally
Romancing The Bone
Lord Of The G-Strings
White Men Can't Hump
Ocean's 11 inches
American Booty
Pulp Friction
Swollow Hal
Spankenstein
Breast Side Story
Blown in 60 Seconds
Buffy The Vampire Layer
Buttman and Throbbin'
Rambone
Sperms of Enderarment
School of Cock
Free My Willy
Sperminator
Cums the next REALLY AWESOME PORNO BASED ON A MOVIE!!! PRON!

There is also, this little gem that is not a porno.. but probably could be if it really wanted to.. Red Riding Hood, it is looking to have some sexy sex in it. + Gary Oldman.. mmmmmmmm ( *** Update.. Nevermind it is like Twilight.. with only werewolves.. don't bother)

Newest Japanese Popstar... is a hologram. Much along the same technology that makes Gorillaz  possible to tour.  I have a group of homies.. who have agreed, that they are willing to pay up to 250$ USD to see this if it comes to town. SOO RADS!

Speaking of anime.. My friend Kitty is super rad.. and we usually have the same tastes in Anime.. she hipped me to Ouran High School Host Club.. however.. Really!? A Host Club.. in a highschool? If you don't know what that is.. you should read this helpful wiki.

Apparently, when male spiders of the wasp variety gittin' jiggy, they actually break it off into that bitch. Crazy yo! So they prefer virgin spiders to do that with because you don't want to break that shit off into another man's bitch.

I guess, I should just start telling people that I was raised in the way of most Amazonian children, which is.. if my parents are having sex with you.. then you are another parent.

Tetris may help cure PTSD.. however.. have you had a Tetris addiction? I have, it ain't pretty. First off, you play it in your dreams. Actually anytime your eyes are closed you see the tetras falling. Also, you can never hear any other music than 8-Bit classical. I KID YOU NOT!

I would like to also urge people to adopt an endangered word. 

That is all for now.