Bully

I am dedicating this post to Bullies. Here is the deal, I am not nor have I ever been "normal". I was raised by a coven of witches, my parents are in a polyamorous open marriage. I was raised in a communal setting. I have never been in a situation where I could be considered middle class, I have been poor all of my life.

 When I was younger, we lived in low income housing where I was the only white kid in the neighborhood, people thought that my parents and therefore I, was a Satanist. I remembering having daily, the shit kicked out of me by the local kids because of this. It doesn't help that my little brother was undiagnosed autistic and we couldn't keep clothing on him, or him in the house. He would run around the neighborhood naked growling like a dog because he thought he was a dog. I was a round kid so I was called fat. I was too smart for my own good so I knew how to talk shit... however I was 6, so it meant that I would talk shit to 11 year olds and they would beat the shit out of me.

My mom wanted me to be able to defend myself so she asked my uncle to teach me self defense, she also said that if I got into a fight that I needed to beat the shit out of kids who started it and then she would clean up the mess. She did, every time. At school, when kids would gang up on me, and hit me and push me and pull my hair.. I would start fighting. I would throw all the punches, bite all of the arms, throw hand fulls of rocks and bark, spit, kick, scratch. I had a cast once, and this one OLDER  kid started fucking with me for no reason, I told him to stop and he pushed me to the ground and started to put dirt in my face. I backhanded him the face with my cast. I BROKE HIS FUCKING FACE!! Then ran like hell to the nearest teacher. He ran after me, face all busted, he lost 5 teeth. When we got to the teacher, the teacher looked at me, looked at the kid, and said, Anne, go to class and tell the teacher that you need to go to the office and tell the principle what happened. The kid who attacked me, went to the nurse. When I went to the principle's office and told him, he pulled out my "file". This was every incident of bullying that had happened to me. Do you know why he had a "file" because I would go home and tell my mom. She would then go and raise fucking hell at the school. I told him what happened, he then had be draw a picture.

The boy who attacked me was out of school for 3 months. Why was this, because he had to get his face put back together. He was also suspended for those 3 months. When he got back to school, the principle assigned him to be my reading buddy. I was in Kindergarten and he was a 5th grader. The school guidance councilor told us that, there was no reason to be mean to each other. So, we needed to help each other out instead. I remember by the end of the year, I adored him. He actually started walking me home everyday after school. I am pretty sure now, that his parents totally didn't know that he was being a total fucking asshole, and once the found out that he was, made him pray to jesus every day for forgiveness.

I was kind of lucky, because scenarios would happen like this for the rest of my life. I would meet someone, for one reason or another they would not like me and bully me, I would then kick their ass ( as I got older, it was more mentally and emotionally) and then we would be friends. However, this is not the case for most people. My husband was tormented on a daily basis for most of his life. His parents told him to just ignore it. This is not they way to be. Because of this, he has issues with feeling like no one listens to him. He feels disenfranchised.This also means that, when he gets angry about not feeling listened to, it is not just angry, it is HULK SMASH ANGRY!! We have worked on this as a couple though. I was raised in a you deal with the bullies, I will clean up your mess mentality.  Do not ignore bullies, beat the shit out of bullies. Bullies are too stupid to understand philosophy and right actions.  Now, whenever I don't listen to him he tells me and then I listen. When I have kids, you bet that if someone is picking on them, they will lay the asshole flat and I will be there to clean up the mess. 

I would also like to put out there, if my kid bullies another kid, there will be no end to their suffering. I will nip that shit in the bud. There will be no excuse. There will be no justifying my kids actions. My kid will be a direct reflection on how I treat others. I am the kind of person who calls it like I see it. I try not to bully (however, I am catty by nature, so sometimes it happens. I usually get called out on it though.) If my kid bullies, it means that I taught them to bully though. It means that I have let this happen. It also means that I have not taught my kid better ways to show their emotions. Parents who let their kids be fucking assholes to other kids, probably have not told their kid to draw what makes them angry or upset and then draw a dinosaur eating it. They probably haven't set up a protocol for expressing rage through appropriate physical expulsion( beating the shit out of a tree with a plastic bat.)

Hate begets hate. Love breeds love. Apathy makes the apathetic. You should teach your children to be good people. Give homeless people your leftovers. Donate money/time/blood/clothing/food. Stand up for those who can't. March in protests with your children. Go to the festivals with them that support different lives and really celebrate along with your fellow human.

Ok, I am off my soap box now. Here is some important link dumpage.

Kids Can Be Total Fucking Assholes

It Gets Better Project

Stop Bullying Now For Kids

Stop Bullying Now For Adults